OPINION Marriage is not an achievement is for those who cant keep one. 

Detected Manipulations & Suggested Changes

Biased language

Use of loaded, derogatory, or emotionally charged terms that frame one side negatively and another positively.

1. "I once found myself in the midst of a feminazi discussion..." 2. "The endangered African man in me knows that a man cannot address the council of men if he is single." 3. "Women just do not want to acknowledge that they cannot do without the stick of manhood." 4. "Women must learn to separate the dogs from wild dogs." These phrases use slurs ("feminazi"), demeaning metaphors ("dogs"), and sexualized language ("stick of manhood") that frame women and feminists in a contemptuous way and elevate a particular masculine ideal as superior.

4 suggestions

Replace "feminazi" with a neutral term such as "feminist discussion" or "discussion with women who hold feminist views."

Remove animalistic metaphors like "dogs" and "wild dogs" and instead describe behaviors or relationship patterns in neutral terms (e.g., "partners with incompatible values" or "partners who are not committed").

Avoid sexualized, objectifying language like "stick of manhood" and instead discuss emotional, economic, or relational interdependence in neutral, humanizing language.

Rephrase "endangered African man" to something like "from my perspective as an African man raised with traditional expectations" without implying victimhood or superiority.

Hasty generalization

Drawing broad conclusions about entire groups based on limited or anecdotal observations.

1. "Women sleep with whoever they want. When women are young and succulent, there are plenty, so they have the liberty to pick their choice from the crop of men." 2. "On the flipside, this means that men will have sex with whoever can have sex with them." 3. "When men want to settle down, they marry whom they want. Women marry whoever can marry them." 4. "Women need men more than they want men." 5. "On the flipside, men want and desire women more than they need them." 6. "This makes men easily dispense with partners, while women will fight to keep a man." 7. "Sex is abundant for women but men have to earn it, sometimes by lies. If you are a truthful man, you may die single." These statements treat complex, diverse human behaviors as uniform across all men or all women, without evidence, and present them as universal truths.

4 suggestions

Qualify claims with language that reflects variability and uncertainty, such as "some", "often", or "in many cases" instead of speaking about all men or all women.

Acknowledge cultural, socioeconomic, and individual differences that affect dating, sex, and marriage dynamics.

Cite empirical research or data if making claims about general patterns (e.g., studies on marriage rates, partner selection, or sexual behavior), and present them with appropriate caveats.

Reframe absolute statements like "Women marry whoever can marry them" to something like "In some contexts, women may feel social or economic pressure to accept partners they are less enthusiastic about."

Stereotyping / In-group bias

Attributing fixed, simplistic traits to entire groups and favoring one’s own group while devaluing another.

1. "Apparently, girls in the African set-up are raised to aspire for marriage." (implies uniform upbringing across diverse African cultures) 2. "They forget that men are also indoctrinated with protection and protecting from an early age. That is why men risk sending fare to women who never show up." 3. "Women just do not want to acknowledge that they cannot do without the stick of manhood." 4. "Women need men more than they want men." 5. "On the flipside, men want and desire women more than they need them." 6. "This makes men easily dispense with partners, while women will fight to keep a man." These passages present men as naturally protective, generous, and commitment-rich, and women as manipulative, dependent, and desperate to keep men, reinforcing gender stereotypes and favoring the male in-group.

4 suggestions

Avoid attributing motives or traits to all men or all women; instead, describe specific behaviors or patterns and acknowledge exceptions.

Replace essentialist language ("women need men", "men easily dispense with partners") with conditional or contextual language ("some women may feel they need a partner for economic reasons", "some men may find it easier to leave relationships").

Include perspectives or data that show diversity within both men and women, such as men who strongly value commitment and women who do not prioritize marriage.

Explicitly distinguish between cultural expectations and inherent traits (e.g., "In some communities, boys are taught to see themselves as protectors" rather than "men are indoctrinated with protection").

Appeal to tradition

Arguing that something is right or better simply because it is traditional or has been done that way historically.

1. "Marriage is an achievement among Africans. Those who remained single, especially men, had their corpses desecrated before burial to prevent them from haunting their clans." 2. "The endangered African man in me knows that a man cannot address the council of men if he is single." 3. "The human species must propagate, and the best place to raise the human species is the family. Marriage is an achievement." The article uses historical practices and traditional norms (e.g., social exclusion of single men, desecration of corpses) as implicit justification for treating marriage as an unquestioned achievement, without critically examining whether those traditions are ethical or relevant today.

4 suggestions

Acknowledge that traditions can be informative but are not automatically morally right or optimal for modern societies.

Separate descriptive statements about what has been done historically from normative claims about what should be done now.

Introduce counterexamples or contemporary evidence (e.g., outcomes for children in different family structures) rather than assuming that traditional family forms are always best.

Rephrase to something like: "In many African communities, marriage has historically been treated as an important milestone, but we should examine how these norms fit with current realities and individual well-being."

Unsubstantiated claims

Presenting assertions as facts without evidence or sources.

1. "Apparently, women pick men they want to pair with and then let the man do the chase." 2. "Women sleep with whoever they want." 3. "When men want to settle down, they marry whom they want. Women marry whoever can marry them." 4. "Women need men more than they want men." 5. "Men have an abundance of commitment, especially if he has built their value around status and resources. These men will peddle this value around to get access to more sex." 6. "Sex is abundant for women but men have to earn it, sometimes by lies. If you are a truthful man, you may die single." 7. "In this age, when divorce is on the rise and marriage is more of a partnership than a matrimony, marriage is indeed an achievement." (no data or reasoning provided to link divorce rates and partnership models to marriage being an "achievement") These are broad empirical claims about social behavior, sexual dynamics, and marriage trends, but no data, studies, or even anecdotal specifics are provided.

4 suggestions

Clearly label such statements as personal impressions or experiences (e.g., "In my experience" or "It often seems that...") rather than universal facts.

Provide references to credible research or statistics when making claims about divorce rates, marriage patterns, or sexual behavior.

Qualify or soften claims where evidence is lacking, e.g., "Some people argue that..." or "There is a perception that..." instead of asserting them as facts.

Where evidence is unavailable, remove or significantly narrow the claim to avoid misleading readers.

Straw man argument

Misrepresenting an opposing view to make it easier to attack.

1. "I once found myself in the midst of a feminazi discussion where I was slapped with the phrase: 'Marriage is not an achievement.' When I rose in protest that they should not deceive young girls if their marriages don’t last, I was told that I would never get it." 2. "However, in the modern day, the empowered woman has learned that men are not raised to aspire for marriage. Which they believe works against women. They end up with men who do not hold marriage and family in high regard as them. That phrase is meant to rewire women’s minds." The article reduces the opposing view to "deceiving young girls" and "rewiring women’s minds" without engaging with more nuanced feminist arguments (e.g., that marriage should not be the sole measure of a woman's worth, or that personal fulfillment can take many forms). It does not present the reasoning behind "marriage is not an achievement" in a fair or detailed way.

4 suggestions

Present the opposing view in its strongest, most reasonable form, including the main arguments and motivations behind it.

Quote or paraphrase actual arguments from proponents of the "marriage is not an achievement" position, not just a slogan.

Acknowledge valid concerns raised by the other side (e.g., pressure on women, domestic violence, economic dependence) before offering counterarguments.

Avoid attributing malicious intent ("deceive young girls") without evidence; instead, describe the stated goals of the opposing side (e.g., "They aim to reduce social pressure on women to marry.").

Ad hominem attacks

Attacking the character or identity of people holding a view instead of addressing the view itself.

1. "I once found myself in the midst of a feminazi discussion..." (using "feminazi" as a slur against feminists) 2. Implicitly portraying women who say "marriage is not an achievement" as bitter or deceptive: "they should not deceive young girls if their marriages don’t last." These attacks target feminists and women who hold a different view on marriage rather than engaging with their arguments.

3 suggestions

Remove derogatory labels like "feminazi" and refer to people by neutral descriptors (e.g., "feminists" or "women in the discussion").

Focus on critiquing ideas and arguments (e.g., "I disagree with the claim that marriage is not an achievement because...") rather than implying bad character or motives.

Avoid imputing deception or malice without evidence; if there is concern about messaging to young girls, state it as a concern about outcomes, not as an accusation of deceit.

Oversimplification / Narrative fallacy

Reducing complex social phenomena to a simple, story-like explanation that ignores important nuances.

1. The entire framing of sexual and marital dynamics as a simple trade: "Women sleep with whoever they want" vs. "men will have sex with whoever can have sex with them"; then later, "When men want to settle down, they marry whom they want. Women marry whoever can marry them." 2. "Women need men more than they want men" vs. "men want and desire women more than they need them." 3. "Sex is abundant for women but men have to earn it, sometimes by lies. If you are a truthful man, you may die single." These passages present a neat, story-like structure (women have sexual power, men have marital power) that ignores economic conditions, cultural variation, sexual orientation, non-heterosexual relationships, personal values, and many other factors.

4 suggestions

Acknowledge that sexual and marital dynamics are influenced by multiple factors (culture, class, religion, law, personal history) and cannot be fully captured by a single simple pattern.

Avoid binary, absolute formulations and instead discuss trends, tendencies, and counterexamples.

Include recognition of non-heterosexual relationships and diverse family structures if making broad claims about "the human species" and marriage.

Present multiple plausible explanations for observed patterns rather than a single, totalizing narrative.

Appeal to emotion

Using emotionally charged imagery or scenarios to persuade rather than relying on reasoned argument or evidence.

1. "Those who remained single, especially men, had their corpses desecrated before burial to prevent them from haunting their clans." (graphic, fear-inducing image used to elevate marriage) 2. "The endangered African man in me..." (evokes fear and sympathy for men as victims of modernity) 3. "Women must learn to separate the dogs from wild dogs." (fear and disgust imagery) These elements are designed to provoke fear, disgust, or sympathy rather than provide rational support for the claim that marriage is an achievement.

3 suggestions

If historical practices like desecration of corpses are mentioned, clearly separate them from normative arguments and avoid using them as emotional leverage.

Reduce or remove dehumanizing metaphors ("dogs", "wild dogs") and instead discuss risks and harms in clear, factual language.

Balance emotional appeals with data, reasoning, and acknowledgment of trade-offs and complexities.

Unbalanced reporting / Confirmation bias

Presenting only evidence and narratives that support one side while ignoring or dismissing contrary evidence or perspectives.

The article: - Focuses almost entirely on arguments and anecdotes that support the idea that marriage is an achievement and that women need men more than vice versa. - Mentions the opposing view ("marriage is not an achievement") only briefly and dismissively, without exploring reasons such as domestic violence, economic independence, personal fulfillment, or alternative life paths. - Highlights male sacrifices (e.g., "men risk sending fare to women who never show up") but does not similarly acknowledge female sacrifices or harms within marriage. This creates a one-sided narrative that reinforces the author's pre-existing beliefs.

4 suggestions

Include perspectives from women (and men) who argue that marriage is not an achievement and explain their reasoning in some depth.

Acknowledge documented issues within marriage (e.g., domestic violence, unequal unpaid labor, legal and economic risks) and address them directly.

Present data or examples where remaining single or choosing non-traditional family structures leads to positive outcomes.

Explicitly recognize that marriage can be both beneficial and harmful depending on context, and that its value may differ for different individuals.

False dilemma

Presenting only two options as if they are the only possibilities, when in reality there are more.

1. "When men want to settle down, they marry whom they want. Women marry whoever can marry them." (implies a rigid two-option structure of power in relationships) 2. "Women need men more than they want men" vs. "men want and desire women more than they need them." (sets up a binary need vs. want framing) 3. "The human species must propagate, and the best place to raise the human species is the family. Marriage is an achievement." (implies that because humans must reproduce and families are good, marriage must be an achievement, ignoring other family forms and life choices) These formulations ignore possibilities such as mutually chosen partnerships, childfree lives, co-parenting without marriage, and diverse family structures.

4 suggestions

Acknowledge that power and choice in relationships can be shared, negotiated, and vary by individual and context.

Recognize that some people do not want children or marriage and can still live fulfilling, socially valuable lives.

Distinguish between legal marriage and other forms of family or partnership when making claims about what is "best" for raising children.

Rephrase to allow for multiple valid life paths, e.g., "For many people, marriage and family are important achievements, but others may find achievement in different forms of relationships or personal goals."